Lyrical Olicity
by lizzybennettdarcy
Summary: A random assortment of one-shots inspired by the lyrics that inspire me. Rating and category may vary from chapter to chapter. Spoilers through the end of season 2.
1. Dance With Somebody

**I find myself a little overloaded with Olicity ideas lately. Which means it's difficult to continue my other stories. I figured the best course of action would be to have a one-shot series (so that I'm not constantly continuing one-shots). All of these are loosely based on or inspired by songs that I love. This one is 'I wanna dance with somebody', the cover by Ben Rector. Listen to it, it's the best.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_I wanna dance with somebody_

_I wanna feel the heat with somebody_

_Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody_

_With somebody who loves me_

Oliver Queen leaned against the bar and raised his wineglass to his lips. The pull of his suit jacket was now unfamiliar and he did his best to ignore the discomfort that he felt with the tie wrapped around his collar. He savoured the flavour of the red wine as it filled his mouth. Felicity had chosen well.

"Mr. Queen." William Branson acknowledged him as he passed by with a nod. Oliver nodded back, amusement hidden as the elderly gentleman paraded his 'wife of the month' around the ballroom. The man certainly wasn't Oliver's favorite board member but he had been influential in bringing Oliver back into Queen Consolidated. He was a shrewd businessman and he'd been a good friend of Moira's. His taste for young blondes and smoking jackets brought to mind Hugh Hefner rather than Donald Trump. Though, he supposed that he would take support wherever he could.

It had not been an easy year.

After the dust had settled, Starling City had been a different place. The corruption in the Mayor's office had caused outrage amongst the populace. The details of Isabel's part in the 'Starling Riot' had only been revealed to the public recently. Oliver knew that Felicity Smoak had carefully leaked the details online. He knew that she was the real reason he was once again the CEO of his father's company.

Upon learning of Isabel's involvement in not only the riot but also in Moira Queen's death, the media had clamoured to support the only remaining Queen in Starling City. Demands had been made of the ailing QC as stockholders threatened to bail out.

He had only been CEO for two weeks now. This fundraiser was his first official event since he'd been renamed as CEO. Felicity had been busy for the past two weeks planning and organizing the event down to the last detail.

His eyes roamed the room in search of his blond assistant. She had been buzzing around speaking with all of the important investors and guests for several hours now. A flash of green caught his eye and a smile graced his lips as he found her.

She was stunning. She'd chosen an arrow-green floor-length gown with black lace embellishments and no back. Her long blond curls hung loosely against her bare back and shoulders. Her makeup was light and her lips were painted a brilliant red.

She'd had the attention of every male since she'd first arrived to the party.

The woman was a Godsend.

The last year had been a test upon the team and on the two of them in particular. Oliver had gone to work for A.R.G.U.S as he worked to get his family's company back. Felicity had begun doing contract IT work and John had become a driver for a wealthy family with adorable twin girls. Gone were the days where the three of them worked together day and night.

And he'd missed it.

The call from the acting CEO of Queen Consolidated and the prompt job offer upon his arrival had been a relief. But as he stood in the office that had once been his, he'd wondered how he could possibly do it without his team. There had been days before Slade's return where he needed Felicity and John more in that office than he did in the Foundry or on the streets.

He'd been sitting in his old chair, staring out at the city when a familiar sound greeted him. His head swivelled to face her old desk as the sound of high heels clattered towards him. A grin stretched his face as she walked through her former office and into his. His face must have shown surprise as she snorted and placed her hands on her hips.

"What? You thought you could actually do this without me?" She had teased, brows raised.

He'd simply shaken his head, sure that his words would betray him in that moment.

He watched as she moved from a particularly curmudgeonly investor to speak with the CFO's assistant. Felicity threw back her head and laughed at something the woman had said and Oliver's breathing stuttered. Her curls brushed against the naked skin of her lower back and his fingers twitched.

Shaking his head, he turned back towards the bar. Catching the bartender's eye, he said. "I need something a little bit stronger, I think."

The bartender grinned and handed him a scotch, on the rocks. Without tasting it, he knew that Felicity would have ordered only his favorite scotch. He wasn't disappointed as the familiar liquid burned a path down to his chest.

His eyes remained on her and he wondered if he looked as predatory as he felt in that moment. The fact that the men in the room had only looked and never approached her seemed to confirm his suspicions.

Logically he knew that he had very little right to feel possessive of the beautiful blond woman. She'd given him the opportunity more than once. He was a coward though, and had only smiled as she rambled on about his declaration of love and how real it had seemed.

The orchestra struck up another tune and Oliver found himself crossing the room. He placed his hand on the patch of exposed skin that he'd been staring at for several hours and pulled her to his side. Felicity's friend left immediately and Oliver's hand turned Felicity into his body. Her hand had reached out to rest on his chest without conscious thought. Her brows were puckered in concern and Oliver had the sudden urge to kiss the concern away.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, tone laced with worry. "Roy said that he could cover for you tonight and-"

Oliver shook his head and led her onto the dance-floor. "Dance with me."

It wasn't a question but it stopped just shy of being a demand. His thumb brushed against her spine for a moment before her frown faded and she placed her free hand in his. His eyes met hers and he began to lead them in a slow waltz.

"This is my favorite song."

Oliver's lips twitched upwards. "I know."

The smile that his words elicited was blinding. Not for the first time he wondered just how on earth he'd found her.

"You're beautiful." He told her solemnly.

Her eyes sparkled and he knew that his wording hadn't gone unnoticed. She wasn't just beautiful tonight in her green ball-gown. She was beautiful in the lair with her ponytail and sweaters. She was gorgeous in the office in her 'secretary skirts' and she was beautiful in the pjs she slept in every night.

"So are you." She replied dreamily, giving him only a moment to smirk before shaking her head. "I mean, well you _are _actually kind of beautiful. But we both know you're ridiculously masculine and manly and um hot? Wow, it's a little warm in here."

A chuckle rumbled deep within his chest as he pulled her closer. She dropped his gaze and rested her cheek against his shoulder. A sigh escaped her lips as his fingers brushed tenderly against the bare skin of her spine.

One dance turned into two and after several long minutes, everyone in the room stopped keeping track. As Oliver swayed with Felicity in his arms he realised that _this _was everything he'd ever wanted. And as her fingers absently scratched at the base of his scalp he decided that he was done fighting it, fighting _her_. His eyes caught Dig's and the two of them shared an understanding smile. Dig nodded in approval before taking his leave.

The night was winding down and the guests had begun to trickle out. Oliver pulled away from Felicity after the last song ended and tangled his fingers through her own. The two of them made their way through the thinning crowd and headed for the exit. No words were spoken as he helped her into the black car, though he never dropped her hand. Dig was silent as he drove them towards Felicity's apartment.

* * *

Oliver's hand covered the smooth skin of her lower back as the elevator stopped on her floor and they walked towards her door. Felicity unlocked her door before turning to face him. She smiled softly up at him as he reached out to cup her cheek gently.

"Tonight was a success, huh?" Her words were disarming and he found himself grinning.

"You'd make quite the event planner, Miss Smoak." He replied with a wink.

His smile dropped as his thumb brushed across her cheek. His gaze fell to her lips. "It wasn't a lie."

"Hmm?" Felicity hummed in question as she enjoyed the feeling of his hand on her cheek.

"What I said, last year. In the mansion." He clarified. His eyes rose to meet her now alert gaze. "It wasn't a lie. Slade did take the wrong woman."

Felicity frowned. "I asked you about it. On the island."

Oliver gave her a sad half-smile. His hands cupped her face softly. "I wasn't ready. It was too much. But-" He paused, searching for courage.

"But?" She breathed out hopefully.

"I'm ready now."

Felicity's hands fisted in the lapels of his tuxedo jacket. "You are?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. "I loved you then and I love you now, Felicity."

A breathy sob passed through her lips as tears fell from her eyes and over his hands. "I love you too, Oliver. I always have."

The tension that had filled his chest for the past eight years loosened. He felt moisture gathering in his own eyes as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

* * *

"Hey, Oliver?" She whispered as she snuggled deeper into his chest.

"Yeah?" His fingers traced mindless patterns against her naked skin.

Felicity pressed her lips against his tattoo, against his heart. Oliver closed his eyes and revelled in the feeling of it. The last several hours had been everything, and still not enough. He could spend the rest of his life in her arms and still need more.

"What changed?" She asked finally.

Oliver smoothed a hand over her curls as he thought over his answer. Even now he wasn't entirely sure. Nothing had changed per se. She had been his right hand from the first moment they'd met. He'd seen and coveted her light from the beginning. She'd been beautiful even before he'd first seen her. She'd worn green before and she'd dazzled the pants off of everyone she'd come across.

And yet he'd finally given in.

"It was your favorite song." He answered at last. "And before I knew it, I was touching that patch of skin I'd been staring at for hours and I was pulling you onto the dance-floor. Nothing changed, not really. It's always been there. I just didn't fight it this time. I'm sorry it took me so long."

Felicity reached up and traced her finger over his eyebrows. "I'm not. I wasn't ready back then either."

Oliver pulled her closer and wondered where he'd be without Felicity Smoak. A little snore escaped her lips and he buried his grin amongst her curls.

It didn't really matter. He was here now.

_I wanna dance with somebody_

_With somebody who loves me_

* * *

**Any thoughts? Thanks for reading!**


	2. Shiver

**Full disclosure - I totally cheated for this one. I wrote the story and _then _found a song with lyrics to add to it. And despite the fact that this turned out _completely _different to what I'd imagined, I'm actually pretty happy with it. That being said, there will probably be another fic posted at some point about a conversation between the two women. **

**There isn't any Laurel love in this one...because I can't stand her for the most part. I enjoy it when writers can incorporate her in a positive way...I'm just not sure that I'm one of those writers. **

**Rated T? for the teensiest amount of cursing.**

**Enjoy! (the song is Shiver by Coldplay)**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_And it's you I see, but you don't see me._

_And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear_

* * *

Felicity sat on the stool and leaned her head against the arm that was propped on the bar. Staring down at the drink that she'd made for herself, she pondered the silence that surrounded her. A week ago Verdant had been crowded with Starling City's elite, rubbing shoulders at Moira's electoral party. A week ago Verdant had been the hottest club in town.

Felicity swallowed a rather unladylike gulp of her drink and relished the burn as it made its way down her throat.

Technically, Verdant was now property of Queen Consolidated. Technically, Felicity was trespassing. But QC's CEO was dead and heavily implicated in the crime spree that had terrorized the city mere days before. The very last thing on any board member's mind was foreclosing on Oliver Queen's nightclub.

Felicity reached across the bar and refilled her glass. Scotch had never been her drink of choice, but there was something about the day that called for it. Scotch was the beverage of homecoming victors. It was also the best choice for miserable reflection.

If she was being honest, scotch seemed to be the drink to drown whatever sorrows or joys may come a person's way.

And in the vein on being honest, Felicity wasn't even sure just _why _she was drinking.

She had been cleaning out the Foundry, setting all of her computers in order to be relocated. The silence had bothered her as her thoughts raced in memory of the past several weeks. She'd found herself climbing the stairs and raiding the bar almost unconsciously.

She was downing her third scotch, neat, thank you very much, when the echo of heels on linoleum reached her ears. She didn't bother looking up, she'd recognize that self-assured strut anywhere.

"Is Oliver here?" Laurel asked, settling herself on a stool next to her.

"Nope." Felicity replied, popping the 'p'.

The two of them settled into an uncomfortable silence. Felicity sighed and hopped rather clumsily down from the stool. She moved around the bar and poured Laurel a soda with plenty of ice. Pushing the glass forward wordlessly before moving back to her stool.

"Thanks?" Laurel said after a moment, hesitantly taking a sip.

"Yeah well, a bar isn't the greatest place for an alcoholic." If she'd been just the littlest bit more sober, the words probably wouldn't have come out. Then again, they probably would have. She sighed. "That wasn't like a judgment or anything, it's just, aren't you sort of torturing yourself needlessly here?"

"Probably." Laurel conceded begrudgingly.

"How's your father?"

Laurel inhaled sharply. "He's…recovering. The surgery was a little more invasive than I'm sure he'd like but, he should make a full recovery." She paused, her fingers tightening around her glass. "They aren't sure he'll be up to patrolling again."

Felicity nodded. "It's a good thing they gave him his detective badge back then."

Laurel's fingernails tapped against the bar. Felicity scrambled to find a polite reason to leave. It was no secret that the two women had a strained relationship. Laurel had never actually spoken with her in even a civil manner. Felicity felt uncomfortable being around the woman. She reasoned that their mutual feelings for Oliver Queen did little to change that situation one way or another.

"He's really…fond of you, you know?" Laurel added doubtfully as if she couldn't really understand why.

"Your father's a good man. He's been a good friend to me. And his work for the city is heroic." Felicity explained after a long sip of her drink. "I, um, don't think that Oliver plans on coming to the club today."

She realised that her tone wasn't as subtle as it may have been if she wasn't halfway to drunk.

"I'm not actually here to talk to Ollie." Laurel replied after a long moment.

Felicity blew out a breath. _Ollie._ She hated that name. She couldn't say that the insinuation that Laurel was there to speak to _her _thrilled her either.

"You don't really like me, do you?" Laurel's question should have surprised her, but it didn't.

Felicity glanced away from the drink in her hands and up at Laurel's searching gaze. "Not really."

Laurel seemed taken aback by her honesty. "Is it because of my relationship with Ollie?"

Felicity shook her head and drained her glass. "No. It's because I can't recall a single time when you've been even _polite _to me. You've always treated me like the help. Unimportant and replaceable."

Laurel's jaw snapped shut at the admonishing and Felicity continued. "I'm in no way threatened by your relationship with Oliver, Laurel. Because the boy you knew is gone. He died on that island. You don't know a thing about the man he is now. You claim to know him better than anyone else, but you don't." Felicity poked her finger in the air, as if to prove a point. "If you did, you wouldn't have been surprised that he was the Arrow. You would have known last year. If you knew him better than anyone else, he wouldn't have spent several months trying to evade your attempts to capture him for a crime he wasn't responsible for."

"And you know him better?" Laurel snapped, voice full of derision.

Felicity didn't bother responding. She was too old to play these games. She'd said too much. Liquid courage tended to be her downfall.

"Why? Because you were his _assistant_?" Her words were mocking and implied just what _skills _others thought Felicity brought to the position.

Felicity slammed her glass on the bar, causing Laurel to jump. She whirled to face the woman, ignoring the way it caused her head to spin. "No, Laurel. Because I'm his friend. His _partner_. I don't need your approval or to play a game of 'who knows Oliver best' to prove my worth. He trusts me. He needs me. You have absolutely no _right _to question my place in his life." Felicity's eyes narrowed. "So why don't we just get down to the reason that you're here, shall we? You're worried that what Slade said was true. Slade said that he took me because Oliver loved me. And that's inconceivable to you, isn't it?"

Laurel gaped at her wordlessly as Felicity felt the rage ebb from her.

"Don't worry about it, Lance. It's every bit as inconceivable to him too. It was a setup. A trap for Slade. And it worked." Felicity felt hot tears stinging the corners of her eyes. She turned away from the love of Oliver's life and stared down at her empty glass. "It was all a lie. He's just as much yours as he was before."

There was silence for several long moments as Felicity fought the tears that were desperate to escape.

"Ollie!" Laurel exclaimed suddenly and Felicity almost fell off of her stool in her haste to turn around. The woman next to her had gotten to her feet and was staring at Oliver. Oliver's gaze however, was burning into Felicity's.

He'd heard. Maybe not the whole conversation, but his eyes told her that he'd heard enough. Felicity dropped her head in dejection and stood heavily. She turned away from him and grabbed the two empty glasses from the counter and rounded the bar. She ignored the charged atmosphere and the feel of his eyes burning a hole in her forehead as she cleaned the glasses.

She knew that the club was no longer theirs, but her mother had taught her to clean up after herself. Her eyes never strayed from her task.

"Laurel was just looking for you, Oliver." She announced, her tone gravelly as she wiped down the bar. She wiped her wet hands on her jeans and reached for her purse. "I'll just leave you to it."

She stepped from behind the bar and cut a wide path towards the dance floor to avoid both Laurel and Oliver's imposing figures. She heard his footsteps behind her and her own feet moved more quickly. She pushed through the front entrance and stopped at the sight of her car.

She'd driven here. She doubted a cab would swing by there this late in the afternoon. She sighed and leaned against the wall of the club. The door she'd just appeared through burst open, Oliver rushing through it. She watched as his head turned left and then right before his gaze settled on her. She bit her lip and watched as a myriad of emotions crossed his handsome face.

"You should probably get back to Laurel." Her tone wasn't snide, but pleading. They'd already had this conversation too many times now. It always looked different but it ended the same way.

Oliver took a step towards her. "I think we both know that she didn't come here to talk to me."

Felicity's eyes narrowed. "Eavesdrop much?"

Oliver had the grace to look embarrassed. "I saw your cars out front and I was more than a little confused as to why the two of you would be here. Together."

So he'd picked up on the mutual dislike the women had shared. Or at least Felicity's part in it. Laurel had been about as subtle as a kick to the teeth.

"Just some girl talk. Bonding, you know." Felicity replied lightly.

"_Felicity_." His tone was serious.

Felicity closed her eyes and counted to ten. Aloud. He stayed very still, no traces of amusement evident when she finally opened her eyes.

"What are the chances that you'll just let this go?" Felicity asked finally.

He took a step forward and she took two back. She knew without chancing a glance that her actions had hurt him.

"I can't do that." He ground out from behind clenched teeth.

"Well." Felicity began. "You should probably have thought about that before telling me you loved me and serving me up as bait to Slade." His eyes snapped to hers, pain flashing through them. "Hey, you wanted to talk about this, didn't you?" He nodded tightly. "It was a great plan, one of your very best. I trust you implicitly and I trusted you then."

She rubbed a hand across her eyes. "If you had just _told _me beforehand than maybe we could have avoided this. But you _didn't, _Oliver. You just _played _me. You played me right along with Slade. Because for a moment there I _actually _believed you, Oliver. I _believed _you!" Her fist struck out and blew across his chest. "You played upon the very _real _feelings that you know I have for you. And you didn't need to. All you had to do was _tell _me beforehand. But you didn't." She sniffled and dropped his gaze. "At first I blamed myself for believing it, you know? Because why would _you_, love _me_, when Gorgeous _Laurel _was around?"

"Felicity." He interjected brokenly, but she waved him off.

"But the thing is, it's _not _my fault. All you had to do was tell me. And I would've gone along with it. But you didn't. You _used _me and my feelings for you to save _her. _When have I ever given you a reason not to just trust me with the whole truth?" A tear finally escaped and with it the dam broke. "Why are we even talking about this? Can you just go inside and leave me alone? Could you just leave me alone right now? Because I know I was all smiley on the island and 'okay' with it or whatever. But then Laurel showed up and she's just _such _a _bitch_ to me sometimes. And you weren't supposed to hear any of that." She gulped. "And now I've just called the _love_ of your_ life_ a _bitch_ right in front of you."

She fumbled with her phone for a moment, texting her address to the nearest cab company.

"Felicity, I'm so sorry." He whispered guiltily.

She shook her head fiercely, willing the tears to stop falling. "Don't. Not right now. I'm drunk and not really in the mood for your man pain. I just _can't._"

A strangled sound of pain erupted from his lips but she still couldn't quite meet his gaze.

"At least let me drive you home." He demanded softly, his tone lacking any of its usual authority.

"A cab should be here soon. You don't need to wait with me."

His hand shot out and gripped her shoulder. "Will you please just _look _at me?" He pleaded.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a long moment before meeting his gaze. His grey eyes were tortured and she felt a pang for causing his distress.

The cab pulled up behind her and the driver honked his horn. Felicity pulled away from his hand, her eyes never leaving his. "I'm going to go home and sleep this off. In a few weeks I'm going to go on a blind date or maybe sleep with a handsome stranger in a bar. And you and I are going to get past this." She ignored the surge of annoyance that crossed his face as she mentioned sleeping with someone else. "We'll put this behind us and be friends and partners again. But Oliver? If you _ever _lie to me again or use my feelings against me, I'm done. No second chances, nothing. Do you understand?" She finished coolly.

Oliver nodded tightly, tension rolling off of him in waves.

She stepped past him and towards her cab.

* * *

_But you never even see me, do you?_

_And is this my final chance of getting you_

* * *

She woke up the next morning and immediately wished that she hadn't. Her hangover was light and manageable. Her fight with Oliver however, replayed on a constant loop in her mind.

"I am _never _drinking again." She mumbled into her pillow before dragging herself out of bed and into her shower.

The shower did wonders for the remnants of her hangover. She was no closer to working through the conversations that had happened the day before.

Changing quickly into yoga pants and a comfy sweater, she towel-dried her hair and left her bedroom. She knew that he was there before she saw him. She'd always been eerily aware of his presence, only copious amounts of alcohol had dimmed that the day before.

She raised her eyebrows angrily as he stood from where he'd been sitting on her couch. He was still wearing the clothes from the day before and the dark stubble covering his jawline told her he hadn't gone home. He'd probably arrived right after she fell asleep.

"I'm a jerk." He told her, frowning when she snorted in agreement.

Felicity walked passed him into her kitchen and thawed a tiny bit when she saw that he'd brewed a pot of coffee. She fixed herself a cup before walking back into her living room and sitting on her couch. She folded her legs and sipped her coffee as she waited for his explanation.

Oliver rubbed a hand over his scalp and began pacing in front of her. "I never intended to hurt you, Felicity. I promise."

"Then why did you?" She asked him quickly.

Oliver exhaled loudly. "I didn't mean to. I didn't tell you because I didn't really want to use you as bait in the first place. I spent the whole trip there trying to come up with a different solution. But I couldn't. And then I figured I'd just leave you there, without explanation because Slade would understand what you being there meant. But you're _you_, Felicity. And you questioned me and before I knew it, I was _saying _things that I promised myself I'd never say again."

Felicity glared up at him. "Seriously?"

Oliver shook his head. "I'm not saying what I did was alright, Felicity. I'm not. I was wrong. I should never have taken you out there without telling you why first. I should never have used you as bait in the first place. But I definitely shouldn't have said the things I said."

"Obviously." Felicity mumbled.

"Laurel is _not _the love of my life." He swore vehemently.

Felicity rolled her eyes. Whatever. He ignored her.

"I shouldn't have said I loved you, Felicity." Oliver snapped.

"I know, Oliver!" She growled back.

Oliver's fists were clenched. "No you don't!" He yelled. "You don't know! I shouldn't have said I loved you. But not because I knew how you feel about me, or because I don't love you too." He paused, chest heaving, eyes closed. "I shouldn't have told you I loved you, because I _do _love you, Felicity." His eyes snapped open and ensnared hers. "_Felicity, _I love you so damn _much _that I should never have led you there in the first place."

Felicity stared up at him in shock.

"_What?_"

Oliver stepped towards her and dropped to his knees in front of her.

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I just, don't know how to do this, Felicity. I just broke up with Sara and Laurel is in on the secret now and my mom just _died _and Thea is missing. And I can't _do _this right now." Oliver rambled, wide-eyed. "I love you and I have for so long. And I've pushed you away and hurt you and I can't make up for that. I didn't mean to tell you I loved you that night. It just slipped out, the way everything does with you. And then you asked me about it and I'm just not _ready _for this."

Felicity glanced away from his feverish gaze down to where he gripped her hands.

"I can't do this right now. I can't be the man you _need _me to be, the man you deserve. Not right now. But I can't sit back and watch you believe I don't care about you. Because I do. More than anything." Oliver finished and Felicity met his gaze once more.

"I don't know what to say." She mumbled finally. "Couldn't you have just said all of that on the beach?"

Oliver's lips twitched in self-deprecation. "Take the easy way? When have I ever done that?"

Felicity's thumb swiped against the hand that held her own as she thought over everything he'd said. "You love me? For real."

Oliver nodded.

"We're going to have to work on your communication skills, I think." She pointed out.

Oliver held her gaze. "You usually understand me just fine."

She raised on shoulder in a shrug. He had a point.

"Everything's changed around us. We need time to adapt. And you're right. You were with Sara and things are still complicated with Laurel. So let's table this for now." Her lips tilted upwards and he grinned back hopefully.

She tugged on his hands and he collapsed onto the couch beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. She closed her eyes and relaxed as his fingers played absently with her drying curls.

"Hey, Oliver?"

He hummed in answer.

"I know you have a lot to process and stuff. But feel free to tell me you love me whenever you feel like it. I promise I won't mind." She promised cheekily.

Oliver barked out a laugh of surprise before dropping his fingers to tickle her ribs. She twisted in his arms and found him looking down at her, eyes alight with rare carefree amusement.

"I love you too, you know." She told him breathlessly. "Just in case it wasn't obvious."

Oliver chuckled and resumed tickling her into submission.

* * *

_And on and on from the moment I wake,_

_To the moment I sleep,_

_I'll be there by your side,_

_Just you try and stop me_

* * *

**So, that's that. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know. Thanks for reading!**


	3. I don't want to love somebody else

**I'm not 100% happy with this one. I love the song (I don't want to love somebody else by A Great Big World) and I had a pretty clear idea of some parts of this story. I'm just not sure about the end result. **

**T****his is also my first foray into third person omniscient and I'm not sure how much I like it. I usually switch perspectives after page breaks and never in the middle of scenes. I'm a big fan of third person limited. So let me know what you think? Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. It's different from my other stuff.**

**Rated T for a wee bit of swearing.**

**Enjoy! I own nothing (including Arrow or the lyrics that I shamelessly lifted and actually placed in dialogue). Listen to the song though. It'll change your world.**

* * *

_Well I don't care if loneliness kills me_

_I don't wanna love somebody else_

* * *

Felicity's fingers smoothed out the lines of her gown as she waited for the bartender to fix her drink. The galas of the rich and famous had never been her favorite facet of being Oliver Queen's EA.

She shouldn't complain. For a while there it had really looked like they wouldn't get the company back. It hadn't helped matters that Oliver couldn't afford the legal fees to fight for his namesake.

"Here you go, Miss." Felicity smiled kindly up at the good-looking man who had made her drink and raised the straw to her ruby red lips. Placing a napkin with his number before her, he winked at her and moved on to help the others who were gathered around the bar. She considered the napkin for a moment before moving her eyes over the thirsty, well-dressed partygoers. She caught Dig's eye and he smiled at her in commiseration. He hated these functions more than she did. He was standing by the doors with the other 'black drivers'.

A familiar sharp peal of laughter echoed across the room and Felicity's eyes searched for the source. A sigh crossed her lips when her gaze landed upon the beautiful brunette in a form-fitting red gown. Felicity's attention moved from the woman's dress to the arm that her gloved hand was clutching.

He was a remarkably attractive man. He always had been. There had never been a moment over the course of their relationship that Felicity hadn't found him breathtakingly beautiful.

Tonight was no exception. Clad in Armani, triumphant in his return to the helm of Queen Consolidated, Oliver Queen was a vision.

And he and Laurel Lance were as picture perfect as they had always been. Felicity dropped her gaze before Oliver noticed her attentions. Her fingers dragged the straw around her drink, the ice clinking delicately against the sides of the glass.

"Felicity." Her head jerked up, a mask concealing her thoughts as Richard Smith stepped up to her side.

"Richard." She returned politely. She raised her drink to her mouth and ignored the way that his eyes caressed her body.

Handsome though he was, Richard was twelve years her senior. He was dull in the way she'd come to associate with the QC accounting department. Despite his high position in the company, he wasn't a pompous man.

Felicity assessed him critically for a moment as he blathered on about that week's stock figures. His hair was light brown and his lips were plump. His nose was a little long but his eyes were kind. He wore his business suit well.

She glanced away from him and over to Oliver and Laurel surreptitiously. She nodded along to what Richard was saying, nibbling on her bottom lip as Laurel pulled Oliver out onto the dance-floor. She watched as the eldest Lance placed a hand on his shoulder before turning back to smile sadly at Richard.

Her hand went back to stirring the drink in front of her.

Oliver's jaw was beginning to ache as his lips stretched into yet _another _fake smile. The woman at his side did little to improve his mood.

He was being churlish, he knew. He was lucky to have the company back. Lucky to be the CEO of the company that his parents worked so hard to build. The idle chit-chat and pleasantries were certainly a small price to pay.

A flash of blue caught his attention and he watched as Felicity Smoak pulled herself up onto a barstool and flashed a pretty smile at the bartender. Through narrowed eyes, he watched as the man flirted with her while mixing her drink. His jaw snapped shut loudly as he watched the bartender write something on a napkin and hand it to Felicity with her drink. When Felicity didn't immediately toss aside the napkin, Oliver fought to redirect his attention to the woman at his side. Laurel's mouth was moving rapidly and he realised that he hadn't been aware of it.

"The man actually believed that he could talk his way out of it! Can you believe it, Ollie?" She finished dramatically.

Oliver's lips twitched upwards in a grimace. "Didn't know who he was dealing with. Obviously."

Laurel threw back her head and laughed loudly, her hand clutching his arm as her body shook with amusement. Oliver sighed quietly and brought the tumbler of scotch to his lips.

Laurel's laughter had trailed off but her hand had yet to leave his arm. His eyes darted across the room again. Annoyance bubbled within his chest as _Dick _Smith leaned into Felicity's space, eyes moving unabashedly over her figure.

It wasn't that he didn't see the appeal. She was stunning. That shade of blue against the creamy hue of her bared skin and the bright red lipstick she'd chosen for the occasion was _very _appealing. She'd chosen contacts and her blond hair hung around her bare shoulders in loose curls.

He himself had painstakingly followed the lines of the gown and the way the material hugged her feminine curves. But unlike _Dick, _he'd been subtle about it. Not looking her up and down like they were standing in a brothel instead of a fucking ballroom.

"Ollie?" Laurel's voice twisted its way through the haze of rage that he'd settled into. He shook his head lightly and glanced down at his ex. She was smiling brightly up at him. "Would you like to dance?"

Was there really a polite way to say no? She grasped his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor, taking his silence for an affirmation rather than reluctance. Some things never changed. She wrapped herself rather tightly around him and he began to lead her around the room automatically.

"Felicity?" She refocused on the man in front of her and smiled apologetically. "Would you care to dance?"

"Of course!" She agreed with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster. She drained her drink and allowed him to guide her onto the dance floor. His hand rested on her hip as she placed her hand in his. He led her through the motions, mercifully silent as he smiled at the dancers surrounding them. She peeked to the side as Oliver and Laurel danced past them.

A low growl rumbled in his chest as he watched _Dick _lead Felicity onto the floor and place his hands on her body. Felicity's eyes raised to meet his and held for an impossibly long moment. A sadness lurked within her beautiful blue eyes. He wondered if perhaps she could see the same in his own. He wanted to smile, to ease the tension that flowed between the two of them as they danced with others.

But they don't lie to each other. They never have.

And Oliver knew that Felicity didn't feel like smiling any more than he did. He exhaled as she looked away, both relieved and disappointed that the connection had ended. He watched as she politely excused herself from Richard's arms and headed back to the bar. He briefly considered following her but froze on the spot when she picked up the napkin on the counter and smiled at the bartender.

"Ollie?" Laurel prodded, still in his arms despite the fact that he'd stopped their dancing.

He didn't answer her. Instead he watched as Felicity folded the napkin and placed it in her clutch. Instead he watched as she winked at the bartender and left the room without looking back.

* * *

Felicity's footsteps echoed as she descended the stairs. The second lair had yet to feel like _home _but the Foundry had been compromised.

No use crying over spilt milk. Or some other unhelpful saying that did _nothing _to make her feel better about the situation.

She raised a hand in greeting to the three men who were training across the room from her desk. She dropped her purse on floor and sat down as they all greeted her breathlessly, never ceasing their fighting.

Her fingers were skimming nimbly over her keyboard when Dig moved away from Roy and Oliver and began watching from the sidelines.

"How was your day, Felicity?" He yelled over the sounds of fighting.

Felicity shrugged, never turning to face him. "It was fine. I had lunch with some of my old IT friends."

There was a pause and then Diggle continued, voice full of mischief. "And last night? How was your date?"

Felicity's hands stilled on her keyboard as the two men stopped fighting as well. She blew out a breath and spun her chair to face Diggle, her eyes never straying closer to the training mats.

"It wasn't a date." She hedged, uncomfortable with the scrutiny that his question had caused. She wasn't unaware of the way that the three men were staring at her. Slowly Oliver and Roy started fighting again. Felicity moved to turn back around but Diggle wasn't done.

"Then what was it?" He wondered.

There was the slightest of pauses in Roy and Oliver's movements. Which she ignored.

"Not a date." She told him pointedly through her teeth.

She knew what he was doing. And she knew that he truly believed he was helping. Diggle hadn't been thrilled when Oliver and Felicity had shoved 'Sladegate' under the proverbial rug and 'buried their heads in the damn sand'. It had been a while since he'd instigated though.

"So what would you call it then, Felicity?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"I'd call it sex, Dig!" She snapped loudly. "Just sex."

His lips twitched skywards at the same time as Roy's fist collided against a _very _distracted Oliver's cheekbone.

Her words echoed throughout the room. Shock rippled through him. Images of her writhing beneath a nameless, faceless man barraged his mind, leaving him stranded. A fist knocked him off-kilter and right onto his ass. He blinked stupidly up at Roy before realising what had happened.

His eyes snapped to Felicity who was standing awkwardly by her desk, clearly unsure of whether she should check on him or not. He blinked again. She'd never hesitated before Slade, before Lian Yu.

"Are you alright?" She nibbled on her bottom lip, wishing that the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She shot a furious scowl Dig's way. He shrugged with a grin before moving over to help Oliver to his feet.

Roy stepped away from the two of them and up to Felicity smugly. "So you're finally getting some, huh?" He teased her cheekily.

She shook her head, a snicker passing her lips.

"Anyone we know?" He prodded.

She licked her lips nervously and snuck a glance up at Oliver who was staring at her with hard eyes from where he sat on the med table. Dig assessed the damage and mumbled about concussions.

"Just a guy I met last week at the QC gala. A bartender." She told him, told _them_.

"A bartender eh?" Roy wiggled his eyebrows. "So you're saying I've got a chance!" He quoted teasingly.

Felicity snorted and flicked him in the forehead. They both pretended not to hear the low growl forcing its way past Oliver's lips.

"Are you going to see him again?" Roy asked seriously, folding his arms across his chest.

"Nope." Felicity replied, popping the 'p'.

Oliver slapped at Dig's hands and hopped off of the table. His fists clenched and he moved back to the training mats. He took his frustration out on the dummy. For every image of Felicity with another man, he raged against the training equipment. His ears strained to catch the rest of their conversation.

"Why not?" Dig asked, joining them.

Oliver's breath caught as he felt her gaze on the back of his neck.

"It was just sex." She repeated again and he cringed, pummelling the dummy as hard as he could manage.

* * *

_Oh, we left it all unspoken_

_Oh, we buried it alive _

_and now it's screaming in my head_

* * *

Felicity and Oliver wandered through the park together. He kept his gaze on the path. It didn't matter if the sun against her blond curls caused her light to somehow, impossibly _brighten_. Or that she was wearing that cotton candy lipstick he dreamed about kissing off of her lips. She _wasn't _wearing his favorite 'secretary dress' in the nicest shade of blue. Because Oliver didn't _have _a favorite dress or lipstick. He _didn't_.

Neither of them spoke as they spent their lunch break meandering through the public park. It had been so long since they'd done something like this, so he savoured it. Savoured the stolen moments because that was what they had become. Stolen. Before, they had spent all of their days, nights and free time together. His hands were always on her shoulders, her elbow or the small of her back. He gravitated into her orbit whenever she was near, and he felt the pull even when she wasn't. They ate their lunch together and walked when the weather was nice.

But that was before. Now they worked together in the new lair and in the office. They were polite and friendly. She was still the anchor upon which he rested. But he no longer touched her. And they no longer spent their time together. She ate her meals with friends or at her desk. He ate alone.

So he revelled in the moment that she had given him. He struggled to ignore the way that joggers and walkers and _men _in general stared lustfully after her as they strolled together in the sunshine. He ignored the possessive monster within him that wanted to wrap her up in his arms and growl that she was _his_.

Because she _wasn't_.

A cyclist passed closely to her right and she stepped instinctively closer to Oliver. Her hand brushed against his and a shock of electricity shot up his arm. He shoved his hands into his pockets as she stepped away from him.

She missed him. She missed him all the time.

How was it possible to miss a person so much when they were standing next to you? She spent her work days and several hours each night in his presence. She was the voice inside his ear each night and yet she _missed _him.

Her hand twitched at her side and she sighed.

Oliver heard her sigh and he paused to lean against the railing of the bridge. He gazed out at the duck pond as she stood next to him.

He _missed _her.

"Can I ask you something?" The question passed his lips before he could stop it.

She titled her head to the side and gazed up at him. "Of course."

He blew out a breath, unsure of how to ask something so…_delicate_. "Why just sex?"

The question was blunt and there was no mistaking what he was alluding to. It was also none of his business. But he'd been agonizing over it for _weeks_.

Felicity's sharp intake of breath was followed by silence. He stared down at the white knuckles she had wrapped around the railing. He considered taking the question back, apologizing. He just _couldn't_.

Felicity stared out at the pond, gathering her courage. It wasn't a fair question. It wasn't. And he knew that. It asked everything of her and gave nothing of himself.

"I have nothing else to give." She answered quietly.

Her answer caught him off guard and he spun to face her. His hand gripped her elbow and he waited until she was looking up at him. "You have _so _much more to offer than just _sex_, Felicity Smoak."

He watched in confusion as she sadly shook her head and pulled her elbow out of his grasp. "I _know _exactly what my qualities are, Oliver. Maybe I should rephrase my answer."

She blinked at the moisture gathering in her eyes and glanced away. She inhaled deeply and met his concerned gaze. "I _should _have said, that I don't have anything else to give another man."

His brow furrowed as he fought to understand what she was telling him.

"I don't want to love anybody else, Oliver." She reached forwards and placed a hand over his heart. "Do you understand?"

He did. Of course he did. Because he felt the exact same way. He'd spent the last year and a half spurning Laurel's advances. He ignored the various women who vied for his attention, because none of them really _existed _when Felicity was around. And none of them mattered even when she wasn't.

"And maybe it's a bit pathetic, because I'm not even sitting around _hoping _that you'll just change your mind and one day we can-" She dropped her hand and bit her lip. "Being with somebody else, it wouldn't be fair. Not when I'm in love with you already."

"Felicity." He breathed out, his hand cupping her cheek.

"And this isn't healthy. We left it all unspoken. We didn't talk about it. And now –"

"And now it's screaming in our heads." Oliver finished.

Felicity took a tiny step closer. "Oliver, I don't want to love somebody else."

His thumb caressed her cheekbone as he searched her earnest blue eyes. He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. "I don't want to love somebody else either."

"So what now?" She breathed softly, eyes closing.

"I've built my whole world around you, Felicity." His words fell upon her and she heard the promise behind them. His lips hesitantly touched hers and a tear fell against his fingers. He kissed her adoringly, pulling her closer to his chest.

She pulled back slowly and he opened his eyes. The smile on her lips and in her eyes was the only proof he needed that he'd finally made the right choice. Her fingers tangled in his own and she pulled him over the bridge. As they continued their walk he gazed down at the beautiful woman next to him.

And none of the men in the park mattered. Because Felicity Smoak was finally his. And he would never love somebody else.

* * *

_Oh, I built a world around you_

_Oh, you had me in a dream, _

_I lived in every word you said_

_The stars had aligned_

_And I don't wanna love somebody else_

* * *

**So it's maybe a little bit cheesy, fluffy and angsty. But I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Any thoughts? Thanks for reading!**


	4. Don't Deny It

**I wrote this one a while ago, but wanted to post the last song-shot first. This one is inspired by 'Don't Deny It' by Donovan Woods (I love that song). Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_When you swore not to love again_

_But you know you will_

_Don't deny it_

* * *

Oliver jogged down the steps and rounded the corner. Despite their best efforts their new homebase had yet to feel like _home_. Felicity jokingly called it the den, but her tone always lacked the joy it had carried whenever she'd referred to the foundry.

With a sigh he placed his bow in its new case and removed his mask. Muffled sounds of conversation filtered through the room as he hung up his hood and headed towards the bathroom to change into his everyday clothes. He passed Felicity on the way and she raised a hand in greeting before turning away from him and pressing her phone closer to her ear.

It had been three months since they'd defeated Slade. Three months since his sister had disappeared into the wind.

Oliver dressed quickly and returned to the main room of their basement hideout. His eyes searched the space, finding only Felicity sitting in front of her desk. She was staring into space as she ended the phone call.

"Where's Dig?" He wondered, leaning against her desk.

Felicity jumped in surprise and shook her head. "He had a date with Lyla. He left an hour ago."

Oliver stared down at the woman before him and noticed how tired she looked.

"Who was on the phone?" He asked finally.

It wasn't any of his business and she'd be within her rights to tell him so. But she seemed tired and her face was a model of conflicting emotions.

"Central City Gen." She replied, typing a string of code into her computer. "Barry is awake."

Oliver frowned. He'd expected excitement and joy to accompany this news. Barry had been in a coma for eight months and he knew that it had weighed heavily on Felicity.

"Oh. That's good." He paused, shoving down the bitterness that welled within him "Do you need a ride to the train station?"

Felicity glanced away from her computer screen and regarded him suspiciously. His admittedly unwarranted dislike of Felicity's _friend _was clearly on her mind. She shook her head finally and turned back to her computer.

"No, I'm sure Iris will call me if he needs anything." She mumbled after several moments of silence.

Oliver noted the slump of her shoulders and crossed his arms over his chest. "Who's Iris?"

Felicity's fingers hesitated over the keyboard for only the smallest of moments but he caught it. "Barry's girlfriend."

Oliver's jaw snapped shut. Barry Allen had a girlfriend? Anger pulsed through his veins as he remembered the way that the young man had unabashedly pursued Oliver's lovely assistant. He should have strangled him when he had the chance. Or, strangled him _again_.

"Barry didn't have a girlfriend when he was here, did he?" His question was a growl and Felicity's lips twitched in response.

He watched carefully as her amusement drained from her face. She sighed. "Yeah well, he and Iris were high school sweethearts or something." She snorted. "Nothing like life and death situations to bring romantic feelings to the forefront." Oliver stiffened even before she realised her words. "I mean." She blew out a breath. "For them, obviously. Not for others. Well, I suppose that it happens to others as well. It's a much beloved plot device on television and in movies. So I guess it happens in fiction as well. Just not in all cases. Not in real life cases. Not always. Because in some cases there _aren't _romantic feelings. Not real ones I mean." His jaw was tight as he watched her blow out another breath and bury her head in her hands.

"Felicity," He wondered just how long he'd been saying her name like that. Had he always whispered it with such reverence?

"Please, just don't. I'm tired and therefore my brain isn't at its best. Barry's awake and I'm happy for him. And if he found epic true love with Iris then I'm happy about that too." She rambled into her hands. "I don't need another romantic pep talk, _especially_ from you." Her breath caught as the last words fell past her lips but she didn't continue.

Oliver closed his eyes. He supposed that it _would _be particularly unpleasant for her to hear another 'well maybe he's dreaming about you' type speech from him again. Things had shifted between the two of them since the words he'd spoken in the mansion. He realised now that it probably would have been a good idea to actually _tell _her beforehand what the plan was. A simple 'do you trust me?' hadn't prepared either of them for the words he'd spoken before the fireplace.

They were still partners and they were still friends. She dedicated her nights to helping him save the city. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss having her around during the day as well though.

"I need to get home. Amanda wants a new string of code from me tomorrow night and I didn't get it done while you were on patrol." Felicity announced as she busied herself with gathering her things. It didn't escape his notice that she never once met his eyes or that her own were a little bit red. "See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight." He replied softly as he watched her walk up the stairs and out of sight.

He still wasn't thrilled that she was working with A.R.G.U.S but he knew that it was the best of a bad situation. He had done her a rather unforeseen injustice by moving her from the IT department to become his EA. She had no reasonable excuse for her change in job and therefore many companies hadn't been interested in hiring her. The job offer from Waller was convenient, if only because she knew about Felicity's after-work responsibilities.

Oliver sat heavily in her chair and tapped his finger against the armrest. He couldn't pretend to be upset that Barry Allen was no longer a romantic option for Felicity. And he wondered just what that said about him. He wasn't unaware of his own feelings for the blond genius. He'd known from their first meeting that she was special, different. He'd seen her attraction and growing feelings for him as they had arisen. Oliver knew that Felicity Smoak could and _would _make him happy without a shadow of a doubt. And yet he found himself pushing her away time and time again.

He had hurt her when he'd told her he loved her in the mansion. Not because he hadn't meant the words, but because he had. He had never been able to lie to her and she'd known the truth of his words.

She deserved better than to be faced with him smiling painfully, silently, as she confronted him about it on the beach. She deserved the truth or at least some semblance of it.

But they had simply gone back to the status quo upon their return to Starling. She still rushed to 'play doctor' whenever he returned from a patrol injured. He still grasped her elbow or gripped her shoulder whenever they spoke. He continued to look for her approval before making any big decisions.

Nothing had changed. Barring of course the fact that a small flash of disappointment appeared in her eyes whenever he let go of her. Or the fact that his gaze followed her movements more frequently now.

She deserved better.

Oliver climbed the stairs and moments later he found himself cruising towards her home on his bike. He parked against the curb and without any thought to how late it was, jogged up the steps and knocked loudly on her door.

He heard movement in the condo before a light flicked on in the foyer. He did his best not to fidget as she glanced through the peephole. The door swung open to reveal a sleepy Felicity Smoak in Doctor Who pajamas.

"Oliver? What are you doing here?" She asked, voice thick with sleep.

Oliver's eyes traced the blond curls that cascaded down her bare shoulders and the freckles on her nose. He studied the gentle curve of her lips and the perfection of her skin before finding her tired blue eyes.

"Barry Allen isn't the only man in the world, Felicity. And maybe Iris is the love of his life and maybe she isn't. But he's not the last guy who's ever going to see just how special you are." He promised vehemently.

Felicity shook her head and dropped her eyes. "Oliver, I don't really-"

"No, just listen. This isn't a pep talk. This isn't me trying to make you feel better. This is me, telling you, that you're remarkable. There's no one in the world like you, Felicity Smoak." His finger reached out and tipped her chin upwards until she met his gaze once more. "I am never going to be good enough for you. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be."

Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips opened on a pout. "Oliver, what-"

"_No one _will ever be good enough for you. But some day, _someday_ I'll be ready to try." He told her solemnly. "I can't ask you to wait. I _won't _ask you to wait. It's why I can't repeat those words to you, not yet. Because you, Felicity Smoak, deserve all of the happiness in the world. And I'm not ready to be the man who can give it to you. Not yet."

Felicity folded her arms across her chest. "I won't wait for you, Oliver Queen. You pull me to you and push me away and I can't sit around, _hoping _that you'll stop." A smile crossed her lips. "But the thing is, because of the life I lead, I'm a very busy woman, and I don't get a lot of time to date. Plus there's the whole secret life thing that complicates _everything_."

His mouth curled into a grin and he pulled her onto the doorstep and into his arms. She relaxed into him and he rested his cheek against the crown of her curls.

"Hey, Felicity?" He mumbled against her hair.

"Yes?" She sighed against his throat.

"Barry is an idiot."

She laughed and the movement warmed his heart. "So are you."

A chuckle slipped past his lips and his arms held her tighter. "Fair enough."

"Hey, Oliver?" She stepped away from him with a grin on her face.

"Yes, Felicity?" He replied, ignoring the loss he felt as she slipped from his arms and walked backwards towards her door.

"I happen to think you're pretty great already." She stepped inside and gripped the door. "And you're worth the wait."

She winked and closed the door. A startled laugh burst from his chest before he turned on his heel and headed down to his bike.

As he drove into the night he realised he was one step closer to the forever he'd only ever dreamed of.

* * *

_When you swore not to love again_

_But you know you will_

_Don't deny it_

* * *

**Thoughts? Thanks for reading!**


	5. Take a Bow

**So I'd like to apologize for the angst that is this song-shot. I have no idea where this came from. I was watching Mamma Mia of all things, so how such an angsty piece was written during a silly musical is beyond me.**

**I'm going to rate this one a 'T' for language. And an 'A' for angst. If you're not into angst then skip this one, trust me. **

**Thanks to everyone who's been reading!**

**Enjoy (or try to? I'm a bit bummed after this one, myself. 'Take a bow' by Rihanna.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_Oh, how about a round of applause, yeah_

_A standing ovation_

* * *

Felicity wished she could map out exactly how they had ended up here. She wanted to figure out the exact moment where things had changed. Although if she was being honest, it wasn't _one _moment but _many_.

She does know which _decision _led them here.

Dear God, she desperately wished she could just forget about it.

The running shoes landed in the cardboard box with a muted thud. Her training clothes and tablet followed quickly after.

"Felicity, I-" He cut off, ducking as her stapler sailed past his head.

Angry tears welled in her eyes and began to fall unchecked as she turned off her computers for the last time.

No, there had been several moments. Several moments that had made this heartbreak possible.

"_There was never a choice to make."_

Except when it was _him _hurting her. God forbid someone _else _hurt her. Only Oliver. Her heart was always collateral damage along Oliver Queen's path.

"_He took the wrong woman. I love you. Do you understand?"_

She thought she had. For a moment there. For just a fraction of a minute she'd believed his words. And no syringe or tight smiles on the beach afterwards could undo that hope that had burned within her chest.

No. Only the decision, the _choice _that led to her packing up her things and walking away almost a full year later.

She could blame herself. It could be argued that she never should have allowed her two worlds to collide so spectacularly. She had always managed to keep her Arrow business and QC job separate from her personal life. She had friends and she had Team Arrow. Separately.

She dropped her purse on top of the box and took a breath. She could leave without saying a word. He knew why she was leaving. He knew why he would never see her again.

But he deserved to see how his actions affected those around him. He needed to _learn_.

Her eyes popped open and she spun on her heel to face him. She ignored the regret that burned within his grey eyes unchecked. She had no interest in the way his shoulders were slumped.

He'd done this. He'd broken them; broken _her._

"I thought I could forgive you for anything." Her tone was cold, he flinched as her hurt settled heavily upon his shoulders.

He shook his head and ran a hand over his scalp. "I don't know what to say, I-"

Her eyes narrowed. "There's nothing that you _can _say. You did this. There's no fixing it."

His eyes widened and he stepped forward. She stepped backwards. "But, Felicity, I can't do this without-"

"You knew this would happen. You know how I feel about you." She threw her hands in the air. "Hell! You've used those feelings against me before! So let's not pretend you didn't know exactly what would happen when I found out you _fucked _my oldest friend. You _knew!_" She jabbed a finger in his direction, seething.

He opened his mouth before shaking his head and closing it again.

"The other women, Jesus, they _hurt_. Watching you _parade _women around in front of me was one thing. Coming in second to Isabel and Laurel and Helena and Sara was bad enough. But Jessica? I know you're an asshole sometimes, _Ollie_, but I didn't know you were still the guy who took his girlfriend's sister on a sex cruise. Who would screw the best friend of the woman who's loved you for years." Her words stung her throat even as she threw them at him. Even _now _she didn't like calling him that insipid nickname, comparing him to his former self. But if the condom fits. "Maybe you didn't change so much after all. This is what you do. You self-sabotage. You find some semblance of happiness, of _normalcy _and you fuck it up." She cleared her throat, the tears falling once more. "Only it's always the women in your life who get hurt. You got a night of great sex out of the deal. It's my friendship that's over now. And it's _my _heart that's broken."

His eyes were wet with unshed tears. She'd never seen him cry before, not really. "It wasn't great." He mumbled.

She choked on a laugh that turned quickly into sob. "All of that and _that's _what you decided to comment on? You're a real bastar-"

"It wasn't great. Because yes, I knew exactly what I was doing,-"

"_Who _you were doing, Asshole." She interjected spitefully.

"And I knew it was already too late. I knew what I'd done. So no, it wasn't great." He finished quietly.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She wondered in amazement.

Oliver stepped closer to her and she allowed it. "There's nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. This is what I was so afraid of. It's why I pushed you away. It's why I was silent on that beach. I knew I'd hurt you and-"

Her finger jabbed him in the chest. "And you're your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations."

He was silent as the two of them stared at each other for the last time. The enjoyable tension between the two of them had shifted and soured, choking them both. Her eyes traced the faint scars on his face before focusing on the tear that was caught in his eyelashes. Her hand shot out and cupped his cheek. Quickly, she bounced up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. His body was still with shock and she had pulled away before he could react.

She stepped away from him and reached for the cardboard box that contained every trace of her secret life. Secret life; the only _life _she'd had and cared about for three years now.

"What was that for?" His words were strangled as he fought to keep himself in place.

Felicity turned back to look at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I wanted you to know exactly _what _you'd thrown away. You didn't just lose a friend, a partner. It's not just your IT geek who's walking out the door tonight. I was the future. _Your _future. I was the girlfriend you'd hide for several months because you were worried about my safety. We would have been outed after you inevitably hit someone, territorially, for hitting on me. I'm the one who you were going to watch walk down the aisle towards you in a white and colorful polkadot wedding dress. I'm the woman who you were going to have kids with; little blond geniuses with athletic prowess." She swallowed thickly. "I was the one you'd grow old with. To live and share the life you deserved and never fully believed you'd get."

A strangled sob ripped its way past his teeth and he broke in front of her. Her fingers itched to comfort him as he dropped to his knees.

"It's what I wanted. It's what I thought you wanted. All those times that your eyes followed me or you sighed my name in your sleep when napping." She shrugged. "_That's _what you traded for casual sex with my best friend."

"I'm _so _sorry." He growled through quivering lips.

"Goodbye, Oliver." Her tone was final, brooking no argument. The two of them had always been able to communicate so much with so little. He knew that she never wanted to see him again. He knew that she was done.

As she turned away from him, she caught her first and last glimpse of Oliver Queen crying. Muffled sobs followed her up the stairs. She paused for just a moment by the door and took a deep breath. A roar of fury echoed through the new lair before the sounds of destruction chased her from the building.

* * *

_But now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closing_

* * *

**Right? What's wrong with me anyways? So sorry...again. I'm sure I'm going to get hate for this one. So I'll try to make the next one less...whatever this was. Thanks for reading.**


	6. Fallen (Take A Bow pt 2)

**I had no intention of adding to 'Take a Bow' but then I had an idea for two more parts. They'll be added in the songshot series because they're also inspired by songs. **

**Just a quick note. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Most of you liked it. Many of you didn't. Maybe it wasn't my best work, but I'm pretty happy with it.**

**To those who complained that it was OOC...well I respectfully disagree. It was an extreme action for Oliver to take, but in no way OOC. Oliver is still very much that boy who cheated on his girlfriend with her sister, sometimes. His choices with women are always hurtful in some way to some one. Whether it's sleeping with Sara after telling Felicity he won't be with anyone he cares about. Or flaunting his relationship with Sara in front of Laurel. He's thoughtless when it comes to women. (Even I'm not sure why he did it at this point)**

**I love Oliver. I happen to find him one of the most interesting and multi-dimensional characters out there. And I adore writing him. **

**If you didn't like my last chapter then you won't like this one or the next. Fair warning.**

**The song used is 'Fallen' by Sarah McLachlan.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_But somewhere along the way_

_I got caught up in all there was to offer_

_And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

* * *

It was Roy who found him there, kneeling listlessly amidst the rubble. No words were spoken as Roy's pointed gaze landed on the desk where her things had once been; where her computers remained untouched. Despite his blinding fury, only her computers escaped his destruction; those monitors were all he had left of her now.

He heard the sigh cross Roy's lips and felt the understanding look pointed his way. But still, no words were uttered.

The silence was broken only by the sounds of Roy sorting through the wreckage for anything unbroken. Oliver moved to his feet slowly and joined the younger man and they began to clean up the mess.

The silence should have been stifling, accusatory and downright uncomfortable. It wasn't. Roy understood better than anyone else just how it felt to fuck everything up and be left behind. He knew how it felt to break the heart of the only person that mattered.

Roy knew what it meant to lose the axis upon which his world revolved.

Oliver watched his protégé with newfound respect. He now fully understood the weight that Roy carried after Thea's disappearance.

And as that same weight settled upon Oliver, he wondered just how Roy remained upright. Because the gravity of the situation was slowly crushing him, compressing his spine and tightening around his lungs.

Roy had channelled his heartbreak over Thea into becoming a hero. They had never given him enough credit. It was more obvious now that Oliver truly understood him.

Oliver didn't know if he could survive the loss of Felicity. And he certainly wasn't a _hero_.

* * *

_I have sunk so low_

_I messed up_

* * *

He made it a week before he checked on her.

Though sitting outside her condo on his bike, amidst shadows might not be considered _checking on her_; an argument could be made for _stalking_. And there was nothing productive about that week. He destroyed the lair after she left. Drank himself into oblivion for the next four days and _barely _survived the worst hangover of his life. Although if he was being honest, he had half-hoped that he _wouldn't_ survive it.

He hadn't donned the hood since the night she'd walked away. He ignored Diggle's displeased and probing gazes and preferred the quiet stoicism of Roy's understanding and silent support.

The thought of going out on a mission without _her _in his ear was unthinkable and so damn painful that he'd buried it.

His eyes were fixed on the window of her bedroom as her silhouette moved around the lit room. She was probably getting ready for bed. Perhaps checking her tablet before slipping into bed before remembering that she wasn't a part of Team Arrow anymore.

A bolt of agony ripped through his chest. He'd taken everything from her. One horrible decision had ripped away the life that she loved so much. He had broken her heart and made it impossible for her to face him.

His actions had caused the need for one of them to leave. _He _was the Arrow. Which meant it had to be her. There was no need for her type of genius without a vigilante for her to guide.

And yet he'd willingly refused to put on that hood.

He had forced her out. Given her no choice but to walk away from the pain that he'd caused.

And he'd given up. He wondered vaguely if she would be ashamed of him for neglecting the city that past week. The thought of causing her more hurt was almost unbearable.

She believed he was a hero. Even as she tore him apart for the things he'd done, the hurts he'd caused, she hadn't taken back her belief in him. She'd rightfully ripped him apart for his choices in his personal life, but she hadn't said a word about the Arrow.

As the light turned out and he imagined her laying her beautiful blond head against her pillow, he promised himself, he promised _her,_ that he would make her proud.

* * *

_In the lonely light of morning_

_In the wound that would not heal_

* * *

He spent more nights than he should sitting outside her home on his bike. He always kept to the shadows, but he doubted she was unaware of his vigil.

He donned the hood again. He began patrolling with renewed concentration and purpose. Any nighttime hours not spent outside Felicity's home were spent filling jail cells and reducing crime within the city.

And if he hit the criminals a little harder and a little longer than he had before, well who were they to complain anyways? No one else said anything about it to him. Not Dig, though the press of his lips each night told him that he wished to. Roy understood him, period. And Lance seemed to understand him as well. It had not escaped his notice that Felicity Smoak was no longer involved with him, as either Oliver Queen or the Arrow.

He knew that John and Roy still spent time with her. He knew that there were many meals that he was not invited to. He didn't resent them for it. He'd done this to himself.

He missed her though. He felt her loss like the phantom limb that she was. Felicity had somehow become a part of him, seamlessly and completely and he hadn't even known it had happened.

Not until he'd ripped her heart to pieces and with it, his own. When she walked up those steps, gripping what was left of her dignity, she took jagged pieces of him with her.

He wondered if she felt the loss the way that he did. Wondered if she felt like half of her body had been severed and taken from her.

He hoped not. He hoped that she was healing, that she was happy.

But he also hoped that she _wasn't_. That she still loved him and missed him the way he missed her; that the thought of him made her breath hitch in her chest until she choked on it.

He wasn't sure if he hated himself more for what he'd done with Jessica, or for hoping that she still loved him too.

* * *

_But we carry on our backs the burden_

_Time always reveals_

* * *

He was furious. Livid. And he needed an outlet. He needed a scumbag to pummel into the earth with his bare knuckles.

"_What the hell are you doing?" He whispered lethally._

_Laurel spun around at his tone, her face guilty. The screen behind her was on for the first time in five months. _

"_Ollie, I figured you might need some intel for your-"_

"_No!" He snapped, tossing his bow in the general direction of a table and advancing on her. "Get away from those."_

_Her eyes narrowed as he stepped into her space. "It's time to move on, Ollie. She's not coming back." His knuckles popped underneath the strain of his clenched fists. "I have computer skills. I can help. Take her place and-"_

"_You will _never _take her place!" He bellowed into her face, nostrils flaring. "Get out."_

_He could see Roy and Dig hovering in his periphery but Laurel held her ground. A roar escaped his lips and he spun on his heel, grabbed his bow and ran._

A frightened scream caught his attention and he raced towards the mouth of the alleyway. A pretty young blonde was being held up against the filthy wall by a man twice her age. Her attacker was large, muscled and drunk. The girl squeaked in surprise when she saw the Arrow and the man turned to face him.

Everything afterwards was a blur. The blonde scampered off as the fists began flying. Oliver greeted the fury that had been closing in on him for months and allowed it to blind him, numb him.

"Oliver!" A familiar voice shouted from a distance. He shook off the hand that pulled at his arm and landed another punch against the pervert's jaw.

"You're killing him!" Roy shouted in his ear.

Oliver paused, blinked and then looked down at the man he was straddling. His face was meat. He was unconscious.

"He's breathing." Roy mumbled, before pulling Oliver to his feet. Oliver allowed himself to be pushed away from the scene quickly as sirens wailed in the distance.

Oliver had the control most men only dreamed of. He never allowed himself to slip. He kept a lid on the rage and regret and pain of his past.

And tonight he'd let go. He'd lost control. He almost killed a man in cold blood.

No words were spoken as Roy cleaned the deep cuts on his knuckles. But the look in his eyes said enough.

* * *

_I've fallen..._

_I have sunk so low_

* * *

He should have turned things around after he put a man in a coma. He should have realised the error of his ways and done something about it.

But he hadn't. He'd simply worked harder at controlling his temper and done his best to avoid triggers. He had become a recluse. Working his way back up within QC quietly, avoiding any and all scandal. He was never seen in public.

He didn't date. He didn't have casual sex.

"_Come over tonight. Have a beer." Dig insisted. _

_Oliver shook his head, not even bothering to deny his intentions for the evening. He would spend it outside her home, just like every other night._

_John sighed and ran a hand over his neck awkwardly. He cleared his throat, coughed and shook his head. "You don't want to be there tonight. She has-" He paused as Oliver flinched. "-A date."_

Oliver hadn't gone to her home that night. He'd gone straight to a bar and found the first woman there. He was going to fuck her. He hadn't had sex since _that _night three months before and Felicity wasn't coming back.

Only the woman's hair was too dark and she didn't have freckles on her nose. She had perfect vision and murky brown eyes.

He hadn't even made it back to her home, begging off with a lame excuse. Casual sex was the reason his whole world had crumbled around him. Casual sex would do nothing to fix it. It wouldn't fill the gaping, aching hole that Felicity had left behind when she'd taken his heart with her.

So he'd remained celibate. He hadn't touched a woman in seven months. Because he didn't want any of them. He only wanted _her_. No offers from supermodels or _Laurel _would do it for him. Not anymore.

So he kept going. QC employee by day, Arrow by night. He camped outside her condo before going home and dreaming of her each night. His waking and sleeping thoughts never strayed far from Felicity Smoak.

He didn't realise how problematic that could be until it nearly got him killed. He was too busy concentrating on the way he missed her accidental sexual innuendo through his earpiece. He didn't see the shooter or his gun until the bullet had already hit the scar his mother had given him.

As he bled out on the warehouse floor, he wondered if this was truly it. He wondered if maybe he'd finally know peace. He hadn't been living since she'd left. Death didn't seem so bad.

At this point, he welcomed it.

* * *

_Heaven bend to take my hand_

_And lead me through the fire_

* * *

He came to with a sharp breath as the pain assaulted him. His eyes blinked wearily up at an angry Dig and a tired Roy.

John opened his mouth but Roy placed a hand on his shoulder. Oliver shook his head. "I know."

It was time to figure his shit out. He'd spent the last seven months missing her and hating himself.

"_Maybe you didn't change so much after all. This is what you do. You self-sabotage. You find some semblance of happiness, of normalcy and you fuck it up." She cleared her throat, the tears falling once more. "Only it's always the women in your life who get hurt._

"_Any you're your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations."_

It was time to take responsibility for his actions. It was time to stop just punishing himself and do something about it. It was time to figure out just what the hell was wrong with him.

* * *

_And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

* * *

**Any thoughts? I know this was even angstier than the last one, but it wouldn't leave me alone. Thus the daily updates. Thanks for reading!**


	7. I'm Not Over (Take A Bow pt 3)

**So this is the third part of Take A Bow. It took a while because my life is insane right now and because I had too many ideas on how to do this. Finally I settled on how I wanted it to start and just let my muse take me to a natural ending, which means this chapter is longer than the last two and I'm a little in love with the way it ends. **

**Just a quick aside: I understand that not everyone loves my stories and that's cool. That's fine. There are plenty of incredible writers for this fandom. That being said, if you didn't like Take a Bow, and you didn't like Fallen, then you're going to hate this one too. So do us both a favour and don't read it and don't review it. I don't need to hear that they're OOC each chapter, because I plan on writing them the same way until this little 'verse is done. **

**To everyone else, you're fabulous (even if you keep convincing me to continue stories I wasn't going to continue.) I adore each and every one of you. And when I have more time I promise I'll respond to all of the reviews.**

**The song is "I'm Not over" by Carolina Liar. I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

_What a waste of time _

_The thought crossed my mind _

_Can't explain this thing, or what I mean_

_I'm trying to let go_

* * *

Felicity moved around her little kitchen as the sounds of the Rockets game echoed through her condo. Roy and John insisted on watching the last inning while she finished cooking. She couldn't complain, it gave her a few minutes to herself.

She missed the days when hanging out with the two of them was fun and easy. She missed Team meals at Big Belly Burger and dim sum Sundays.

Things had changed, they'd had to, after she left the team. At first, things had been difficult but the three of them had made it work. They'd ignored the horribly large elephant in the room and simply enjoyed each other's company. They'd gone to Rockets games, tried out new restaurants around the city and caught the latest movies in the cinema down the street from Felicity's condo.

She absently stirred the pasta sauce.

It wasn't so easy anymore. Fun didn't come quite as easily. John tried too hard to make her smile. And Roy studied her, never offering an explanation why. Roy rarely said much of anything.

So she relished these little moments of solitude to prepare herself. And really how pathetic was it that she needed to prepare to spend time with the people she loved?

The timer on the stove beeped and Felicity drained the noodles. She dished out generous portions of the pasta, adding meat and cheese to each dish.

"Chow's ready!" She called out as lightly as she could manage.

She carried the dishes out to the table as the men turned off the TV and sat down. Roy and Dig dug in eagerly. The smile on her lips fell as her eyes flickered over the empty chair across the table from her.

Ridiculous.

How could she miss his presence at her dinner table when he'd never actually eaten there before?

"How is Lyla and Andy, Dig?" Felicity asked before taking a bite of pasta.

Dig began to regale the two of them with tales off his precocious one year old son. Felicity smiled along with Roy, though her attention was decidedly elsewhere. Little Andy was her godson and she adored him. The thought of him always caused the tiniest of aches; she knew that Dig had wished to name both Felicity and Oliver the godparents.

Felicity shoved another forkful of noodles into her mouth.

It had been nine months since she'd last seen Oliver. Nine months since she sat in the lair. Night months since she helped the Arrow fight crime and save lives.

And she missed all of it.

She missed being a hero. She missed standing for something good and right. She missed watching her friends spar while she worked on code. She missed guiding the team through abandoned buildings and hacking intel.

She missed him.

She was still angry. She still felt the sting of his betrayal. But she _missed _him.

She hadn't sat around pining over him like a lovesick fool. She had dated. She'd met several nice men; good-looking men, smart men, funny men. But Felicity hadn't made it past the first date with any of them. She slept with two of them in a desperate attempt to just get over it. To get over _him_.

It didn't matter how nice they were, or how funny. None of them were quite right. Some were too short, some were too tall. Too thin, too muscular. They laughed too much or too loudly. Their smile was either too big or not genuine enough.

Felicity Smoak wasn't an idiot. She knew _exactly _who she was comparing those men to. And it pissed her off. It drove her absolutely crazy.

"Felicity?"

Felicity blinked twice before settling on Dig's face. "Sorry."

His smile was strained. He knew just where her thoughts had been but he didn't mention it. "I have to go. Amanda called Lyla in. Thanks for dinner."

She waved after him as he hurried through the door and out of her condo. She watched the door close behind him and turned to face Roy. The younger man was quietly studying her, his dinner finished and forgotten.

Suddenly uncomfortable, she glanced down at her food and stabbed a noddle with her fork. She hadn't spent any time alone with Roy in quite a while and now she remembered why.

He was so much like Oliver.

The two of them had always had similarities. Roy had worshipped Oliver even before he realised just who he was. And as Oliver taught him and worked with him, the bond had only grown.

"How is he?"

Her eyes snapped shut as the words fell from her lips. She had never asked about him. She'd never asked _either _of them about him. Occasionally she'd slip up and ask about their missions, but never about him.

He was silent until she opened her eyes and glanced up at him. His face was expressionless as he watched her. It was unnerving, how similar it was to Oliver's mask of indifference.

"Felicity, if we're going to have this conversation, we're going to do it properly." He replied evenly.

Her mouth popped open in surprise. "What?"

He shook his head. "I'm not going to give you a one word answer that makes you feel better. If we're going to talk about Oliver, then we're going to actually _talk _about it."

She considered taking back her question. She thought about asking him to leave.

"Fine." She replied instead.

Roy nodded and got to his feet. She waited in confusion as he walked out of the room and into her kitchen. When he returned with two bottles of beer she raised an eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"

Roy cracked a wry smile. "We'll both need it."

The two of them opened their beers and clinked the bottles together. "Where do we start?" He asked.

Felicity scraped a nail against her bottle. "The beginning."

* * *

_I'm not over _

_I'm not over you just yet_

_Cannot hide it _

_You're not that easy to forget_

* * *

Roy wasn't much of a talker. Thea used to joke about how he was the strong, silent type. And she was right, mostly. Being silent had meant survival in the Glades. It meant noticing things and people that no one else saw.

He had known from the very beginning of his time on Team Arrow that Felicity was special. He had seen the way she brightened each and every room she walked into. He had respected her opinions and avoided her loud voice.

He had also seen just how much Oliver worshipped the ground she walked upon. He'd seen the unguarded moments between the two of them. He'd watched as Oliver let his guard down and touched Felicity, always innocently, when he spoke with her. He noticed the way her whole face would light up under Oliver's praise.

He saw the way that Oliver's eyes followed the blonde.

The addition of Sara to the team changed everything and nothing. Felicity was hurt and Oliver was guilty. But Felicity still beamed when Oliver was around.

And Oliver still watched her like she was the sun shining through his never-ending midnight.

He watched the two of them dance around each other in the months that followed Sladegate. He watched Oliver rebuff Laurel. He saw the eager faces that trailed in Felicity's wake.

He even understood why Oliver kept her at a distance. It was the same reason that he'd forced Thea to break up with him. Because there were several kinds of women in the world, but none of them were like Felicity and Thea. None of them were as strong or as beautiful.

And there may be 4 billion women in the world, but only Thea made Roy's life worth living. And only Felicity could make Oliver Queen smile.

And he would do anything to keep Thea safe. Even if it meant breaking his own heart to do it.

So yeah, he _understood_ why Oliver had never made a move.

"He destroyed just about everything the day you left." He told her. She said to start at the beginning, but Roy wasn't there for the beginning. He knew the story. He knew that the two of them had fallen a little bit in love that first day, even if _they _didn't know it. He didn't need to recap their will they/won't they relationship. They'd all been there.

What Felicity had really meant was the _end_. The end of their relationship, the end of her partnership with the Arrow. The end of everything they'd all built together. The end of Felicity really laughing and Oliver smiling. The end of everything that really mattered.

"I found him there, helped him clean up." He paused. "Only the computers remained unbroken."

He didn't tell her why. She didn't need him to. She knew Oliver cared about her, even though he'd hurt her so badly.

"He spent the next week getting drunk out of his mind. Dig was a little worried the hangover would kill him." Roy caught her eye. "I think Oliver kind of hoped it would."

Felicity looked away and nodded for him to continue.

"It took him a while to put the hood on again. We trained together and waited until he was ready." He gave her the facts. He wasn't much of a talker and talking about feelings was not his forte. She would fill in all of the blanks. "He went back out in the field and kept fighting for the city.

He watched her lips purse together and he knew what she wanted to ask. "We didn't touch your computers. It was kind of unspoken but we knew he didn't want us to. We used radios instead. They're still exactly like you left them," He grimaced. "Well mostly."

Felicity's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Laurel showed up a few months ago and decided to be his new tech girl." He watched as she seethed and bit back a smile. "It didn't go very well."

"What do you mean? Was the system too complicat-" She trailed off when he waved her off.

"He freaked out. Lost his temper and told her to get out. She said-" He waited until she met his gaze. "She said you weren't coming back. And he just gave it to her. She hasn't come back."

She was surprised, he could tell. She'd never had much of a poker face.

"He put a predator in a coma that night." He added quietly.

He gave her a few moments to collect herself. He had told her they were going to be honest. And she wanted to know. She _needed _to know. He'd watched her, he knew that she wasn't over it, over _him_.

"He lost control. And he was more surprised by it then we were." He drained his bottle. "He's a mess. He has been for years. Eventually he was going to crash."

Felicity nodded distractedly.

"He got kind of reckless after that. He was distracted." She raised an eyebrow in question but he ignored it. "He got shot. Bled out."

He let the words hang there and watched her. The blood drained from her face as if _she _was the one bleeding out.

She loved Oliver still. That much was obvious and had been clear every time he'd seen her since she'd left.

"We barely got there in time. He wouldn't fight. He seemed-" He paused, unsure of how to continue without betraying Oliver. Without hurting her. "He seemed like maybe he was okay with it. We worked on him all night. He kept flat-lining."

Felicity exhaled through her teeth, fighting to keep the tears at bay. "When was this?"

"Two months ago. Dig and I had to take turns as the Arrow for a while." He stood and headed for the kitchen, giving her time to calm down. He slowly grabbed two more beers and made his way back to her. She nodded her thanks and opened the bottle.

"He took time off?" Disbelief colored her tone and he smiled.

"When he came to, Dig was ready to read him the riot act. But he didn't. Oliver knew. He got it." He explained, sipping from his beer.

Felicity scoffed and he shot her a look. "Is this the part where you tell me he's a changed man?"

"Don't do that. You wanted to talk about this." He glared at her until she shrugged and motioned for him to continue. "He's still fucked up. He's always going to be. You should have known that." He raised a hand as she opened her mouth to argue. "I'm _not _saying what he did was your fault. I would never say that. Because it wasn't, Felicity. He screwed up." She nodded slowly. "I won't defend what he did. Hell, _he _wouldn't defend what he did. And he hasn't."

"So then what _are _you saying?"

Roy scratched his chin. "What I'm saying is that now he _knows _he's screwed up. Now he gets it. He's not in denial anymore. He sees the pattern and he's working on it. He's been seeing someone and-" He trailed off when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes. His own widened and he shook his head. "Jesus, not like _dating _someone, Liss. I mean like a shrink. He's been talking to someone about some of his stuff. Obviously he has to be careful because of all his secrets, but he's seeing some guy who does the shrink stuff for A.R.G.U.S."

He reached forwards and covered her hand with his own. "He hasn't dated since you left, trust me. And we both know he has options. Laurel was after him for months and he wasn't interested. I never thought I'd say it, but Oliver Queen is celibate. _Celibate_. So no, he's not a changed man. He's still messed up." He caught her gaze. "But he's _celibate_, Liss. And I know you know how big a deal that is."

Felicity sniffled and nodded. Her free hand wiped at her wet eyes for a moment before she asked him the question he'd been waiting for. "Why are you telling me all of this? I mean, I know that I asked. But you're fighting for him."

Roy squeezed her hand lightly before pulling away and leaning back in his chair. "Because I understand exactly what he's going through. I know what it's like to find someone who just makes the world spin, you know? I know what it's like to find someone so good, so _pure, _that they pull you out of the nightmare that is your life." He glared at a spot over her shoulder. "And I know what it's like to break the heart of the only person who matters and watch her walk away."

She was silent for a moment as he bit back the bitterness that came with thoughts of Thea. He missed her and he worried about her every damn day.

"It's not the same, Roy." Felicity insisted quietly.

He rose from his seat and looked down at her earnestly. "It's _exactly _the same thing, Felicity." He dropped a kiss to her forehead.

He didn't look back as he walked away from her. Closing the door to her condo behind him, he hoped that just _maybe _she'd consider his words.

Because Oliver was still a mess and Felicity had every right to be angry with him. But neither one of them had been okay since she'd left.

And if the two of them could work it out, then maybe, just _maybe_, there was still hope for him and Thea.

* * *

_I'm not over _

_I'm not over you just yet_

_Cannot hide it _

_You're not that easy to forget_

* * *

**So I'm still not sure how that happened, but I loved the parallels between the two relationships. I used them last chapter but having Roy feel the same way meant something to me I guess. That's the first time I've written Roy, I hope you liked it.**

**Again, if you didn't like it, then please don't bother reviewing. **

**I'm obviously not done with this 'verse. I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and while I'm sure that's how this one will end, I promise it will be happier than it is now. **


	8. Beautiful Goodbye (Take A Bow pt 4)

**Good Lord, This thing has become something of a beast, hasn't it? So much for one-shots. The problem is that I've written a few fluffier song-shots and cannot post them until this one is done (and I'd say there are at least two more chapters to this). I know, I suck at sticking to one-shots.**

**This is a bit longer than usual, but the idea kind of struck me and I went with it. The song is "Beautiful Goodbye" by Maroon 5. (you'll notice that I changed one word in the lyrics later on.)**

**I own nothing (Except for Ben, he's all mine). enjoy!**

* * *

_And let them go, let them fly_

_Holding back won't turn back time_

_Believe me, I've tried_

* * *

"Tell me about her."

Oliver's eyes narrowed as he regarded the man across from him, who withstood the scrutiny with only a single raised eyebrow. Oliver blew out a breath and looked away.

"Come on, Oliver. We've been meeting twice a week for five months now." Ben reminded him. "We've discussed your past relationships, your parent's relationships and every woman you've slept with before and after the Island."

He had a point of course. Searching for a psychiatrist had been a daunting task. His life was a jumbled mess of secrets and lies. After several failed attempts with other 'doctors', Oliver had turned to a friend he'd made while working with A.R.G.U.S. Ben already knew his secret identity, so Oliver was given the option to disclose only what he wanted, as opposed to the alternative of navigating a minefield of half-truths.

"You told me that you'd done something unforgiveable, that you'd hurt the person who mattered the most to you. You explained this to me during our first session. It hasn't escaped my notice that you've never mentioned her name, Oliver." Ben continued when Oliver remained silent.

Oliver tapped his fingers against his knee as he considered what Ben had said. He wasn't sure where his reluctance stemmed from. The last several months had been a gruelling crash course in self-awareness and honesty. Oliver had never been one for searching within himself, instead allowing his inner demons to bear down heavily upon his shoulders. This habit tended to lead to self-destructive behavior.

Thus, the need for counselling.

"Felicity." He admitted painfully. "Her name is Felicity."

Ben nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Felicity is," He winced. "_Was _my partner, one of my partners as the Arrow."

Ben tilted his head to the side as if in thought. "Your pretty blond assistant? The one you were constantly photographed with?"

Oliver's jaw tightened. "_Former _assistant." He glared down at his hands. "She quit both after I-" He trailed off, the familiar self-loathing choking him.

"Oliver." Ben's voice was gentle but firm and Oliver finally looked over at him. "This is why you're here. We've worked through so much of your past. You've admitted all of your wrongdoings and we've managed to put some of those past events into perspective." Ben paused, letting his words assure him. "But we both know you aren't here because you cheated on Laurel, or because your parents were not the monogamous ideal. You don't have to tell me about it today, but if you want to work through this, then you'll have to at some point."

He was right of course. Oliver knew that. It was why he'd talked about everything else first. He needed to understand why he was the way he was. And they'd slowly done that.

He'd grown up in a home where his parents were merely cool, aloof fixtures. He and Thea had been raised almost solely by nannies and maids. His parents were insistent upon a united family unit in public, but they were divided totally and completely in private. He and Thea played the part of perfect children and were rewarded handsomely for it, in the only way that his parents had known how. They'd had the best toys, clothes and possessions that money could buy.

Oliver was seven years old when he first met one of his father's mistresses. His blissful ignorance about his parents' marriage ended that day. He grew up knowing that his parents didn't love each other, not in the way that they pretended to.

He had also gotten away with every misdeed he'd ever done. He had never had a detention that his parents hadn't talked his way out of. The parents of his victims had been paid off in elementary school. By the time he was fifteen, Oliver Queen had known two things for certain; monogamy was a myth and the only way to get his parents' attention was by doing something reckless and illegal.

It had taken four months with Ben to put together a rather pathetic picture. Oliver Queen had no idea how to handle personal conflict. He'd grown up in a world where emotions were a weakness and love did not exist. Oliver had run in the opposite direction of _feelings _for the first twenty-two years of his life. He had cared for Laurel but he'd kept her at a distance. He'd cheated and lied to her, but she'd always insisted on taking him back. The thought of something as permanent as _living together _had him running in the opposite direction. Her sister had been the ultimate betrayal and the only way to ensure she'd be done with him once and for all.

It was so easy to sit back now and say that he should have just told her he didn't want that future, that he didn't love her. But Oliver Queen hadn't been raised that way. He'd seen his father cheat on his mother and they'd both tucked it under the rug. And that was the future he'd seen himself having with Laurel. He envisioned himself chained to a marriage he didn't want, a wife who quietly bore the burden of being a trophy and little else.

It had taken him four months to figure out why he hurt people the way that he did.

He still hadn't quite figured out just why he'd hurt Felicity though.

* * *

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_When I first met you_

* * *

Oliver strode into Ben's office and sat in his usual chair. "She's the strongest, bravest, _best _person I've ever known. From the first moment I met her I knew she was different. She was the first person to make me smile, really smile, after I got back from Lian Yu. She was the first one to make me _laugh_ when I thought I'd never laugh again." He practically threw the words at his friend, desperate to get them off his tongue. "I needed her, needed her _light_. I kept going back to see her. And then eventually brought her onto the team."

Ben chose not to mention the way he'd just thrown all of that information at him, eschewing all greetings. Oliver thought the man might just be relieved that he was _finally _talking about it. Oliver was relieved himself. He'd done little but think of Ben's words since their last session.

"She quickly became my partner, my best friend. After the Undertaking it was _her _who brought me back. She stood by my side and became my assistant even though I didn't ask her and she didn't _want _to be an EA. She was my moral compass and the best part of my day." Oliver sighed. "I hurt her. All the time. She had feelings for me, had for quite a while. I slept with someone, Isabel, and it really hurt her. I told her that I couldn't be with someone I really cared about." He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck.

"And did you mean it?" Ben wondered.

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "I just knew that we couldn't go there. She accepted it, things went back to normal mostly after that."

Ben nodded. "Tell me all about her. We'll get to the rest of the story later."

And so Oliver told him. He told him about the fact that she liked black coffee on Mondays and Fridays but preferred tea with cream and sugar on Tuesdays and Wednesday.

"What about Thursdays?"

Oliver's lips twitched upwards. "On Thursdays she liked a chocolate milkshake."

Ben smiled. "In the morning?"

Oliver chuckled. "Every Thursday at 9 am. We had to ask Big Belly Burger to make them specially."

Oliver's laughter died quickly. He _really _missed being the one to bring her coffee, tea and milkshakes.

* * *

_I count the ways I let you down_

_On my fingers and toes but I'm running out_

* * *

Oliver pulled off his jacket and placed it on the couch beside him. "She's the one who told me about my sister's paternity. She did it even though my mother had threatened her. She told me even though she worried I wouldn't forgive her for it."

Ben seemed to sense the guilt in his tone rather than hear it. "And how did that go?"

"I-" Oliver clasped his hands together tightly. "I promised her she wouldn't lose me and then I went and slept with Sara. The two of us were together for three months after that."

He watched as Ben fought to keep his expression neutral and a smile crossed his own face. He'd never even met Felicity, but just knowing about her was enough that he seemed to care.

"Yeah, Ben, I know. Sara was on the team and Felicity was so great about it all. I should have said something to her but-" He paused.

"But you told her you couldn't be with someone you cared about?" Ben finished for him.

"She got shot, trying to prove herself. She got shot defending Sara." Oliver remembered with a growl. "If I had talked to her then maybe she wouldn't have felt like she needed to prove herself, she'd have known that she was irreplaceable."

Ben tapped a pen against his mouth as he considered what Oliver had told him. "Let's go back to that night when you told her you couldn't be with someone you cared about. Were you talking, even without conscious thought, about the two of you?"

Oliver was silent as he considered the question. "I knew that there was _something _there, and I knew that if given the chance it might become more." He glowered. "A few days later she was taken hostage by the Count. He could have killed her."

Ben looked down at the notepad in his lap. "That was the night you killed him?" He glanced up at Oliver.

"He was going to hurt her. There wasn't an option." He declared tonelessly.

A small smile flittered across Ben's lips. "Am I correct in guessing that the events of that night had you considering that _something _a little closer?"

Oliver rolled his eyes. "Why am I even paying you?"

Ben laughed. "Because you can't see anyone else without them calling the police or having you committed.

* * *

_When did the rain become a storm?_

_When did the clouds begin to form?_

* * *

"Had Felicity dated anyone else during her time on your team?" Ben asked as Oliver seated himself across from him.

Oliver's expression became stormy. "There was a kid from Central City, Barry."

Ben chuckled. "And how did that go?"

Oliver shook his head and jumped to his feet. He paced around the room, overcome with the memory of the anxiety and frustration he'd felt during Barry Allen's visit. "He and I didn't get on very well."

Ben rolled his eyes. "I'll refrain from making a joke about you seeing green."

Oliver shot him an irritated look.

"So that was your first experience with jealousy in regards to Felicity. How did she react?"

Oliver chuckled darkly. "Barry Allen was something of a sore subject between the two of us for two years."

"I want you to think about something for me, Oliver. I don't need an answer this week. In fact I'd prefer if you didn't answer me until next month." He waited until he had Oliver's full attention. "Communication between the two of you seems to be a big part of your relationship."

Oliver thought about all of the times that they'd been able to communicate with just a glance, a touch or a meaningful 'Felicity' or 'Oliver'.

"I think it's important for you to consider just how the two of you communicated when it came to your _personal _relationship. I know enough about your alter-ego's exploits to know that your team worked together flawlessly. But I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that if the two of you were able to communicate about your relationship than perhaps you wouldn't be here, Oliver." Ben finished.

Oliver narrowed his eyes. "What exactly is your point, _Doc_?"

"Just think about it, Oliver. I'll see you next week."

* * *

_Your eyes were so bright_

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_When I first told you, how in love were we that night?_

* * *

"She was the one who defeated Slade." Oliver told Ben on a warm day as they walked through the park.

Ben raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue.

"Slade had me beaten. He'd killed my mother and let hell loose on the city. Everyone was shouting for me to kill him." He smiled. "But she pleaded with me not to. She believed in me, saw more than just a killer. She helped me figure it all out."

He didn't want to relive this part. That moment in the mansion was number 2 on the list of moments he was most ashamed of; just after sleeping with her oldest friend and closely followed by remaining silent on the beach as she all but begged him to be honest with her.

"She was the bait. I left her in the mansion where I knew Slade would find her and put on a show for the cameras he'd hidden there." His teeth slammed together as the memories overwhelmed him.

"A show?" Ben prompted.

"A show isn't the right way to describe it I guess. It was supposed to be a show. The plan was supposed to be simple; leave Felicity, convince Slade that she was the one I cared most about, leave her with the cure and let her save the day." He explained tersely.

"So what went wrong?"

Oliver looked over at Ben before continuing. "The problem is that Slade really _had _taken the wrong woman. The problem was that instead of sticking to a script, I told her I loved her."

Ben blew out a long breath. "And then she saved the day."

Oliver nodded tightly.

"I don't know why I'm even asking this, but did you ever talk about it afterwards?"

Oliver stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She tried. She all but straight out asked me if I meant it. I said nothing."

Ben only nodded sagely and continued walking.

* * *

_And let them go, let them fly_

_Holding back won't turn back time_

_Believe me, I've tried_

* * *

Oliver and Ben sat across from each other in a silent battle of wills. Oliver had arrived five minutes before and neither of them had spoken yet.

The time had come. He'd been seeing Ben for eight months now. He'd spent the last three telling him all about Felicity and their complicated relationship up until a week before she left. It was time to talk about _it_, the choice that had broken her, broken _them_.

He just didn't want to do it. He knew that Ben wouldn't judge him. He knew that whether or not they continued to meet like this, Oliver had gained a friend he could trust.

He just didn't want to relive it. He didn't want to describe the mental processes or lack thereof that had led to his fatal mistake.

He didn't want to describe the look on Felicity's face as she'd descended those stairs. Or the way her tears sparkled in the dim light of the lair. He didn't want to explain the way her lips had pressed against his for only the barest of moments but the taste of her tears had lingered on his lips for _days_.

"I slept with her oldest friend." It was with a mixture of great pain and relief that those words finally passed his lips.

Ben nodded. Oliver was sure that he'd seen this coming. He knew Oliver's patterns almost as well as Oliver did at this point.

"I still don't really understand why I did it. I can't blame alcohol or jealousy. I wasn't really attracted to her friend. I hadn't been able to really _see _anyone but her for months at that point. But I did it. And it broke her, broke us." He explained.

"So she left." Ben concluded.

"After some words." Oliver agreed.

"Tell me what you were thinking as things progressed with her friend."

Oliver's face twisted. He had been angry that night and he hadn't even known why. He'd been angry and he'd wanted to see Felicity. He _always _wanted to see Felicity when he was upset. But he'd found himself calling her friend instead. He'd known even as he pulled her dress over her head that there was no going back. That he'd truly fucked up this time.

"I was upset and I wanted Felicity. But I went to her friend instead." Oliver told him instead, as the pieces began to fall into place.

"The way you did the night she told you about your mother. With Sara." Ben added, clearly beginning to see the same picture himself. "And the way you did with Isobel when you were worried about John in Russia."

"Jesus." Oliver muttered into his hands.

Ben remained quiet as Oliver's mind reeled. Memories flashed through his head in rapid succession. The Count's hand pressing those deadly needles against the tender flesh of her throat. The threats the man in Russia had made against himself and her in that alleyway. The fear of losing her because his mother chose to come between them. The jealousy that had all but strangled him in Barry's presence. His anger at her bedside doting in Central City. The fury he'd felt when he'd seen the bomb collar around her throat.

All had one thing in common. Two really. A loss of situational control and the inability to control the way he felt about her.

He'd held her at a distance for so long.

But whenever he slipped, whenever he let her too close or she got hurt, he lashed out and fucked everything up.

"We were in the middle of a sting when her friend came to town." Oliver began on autopilot. "She was having a hard time keeping her friend in the dark. She went out for drinks with the friend while the team went after the guy without her." He closed his eyes, remembering. "We got the guy, but it was too late to save the girl he'd kidnapped. I just went to the bar that I knew she'd be in because I was angry and upset and she _grounds _me. But then she was there with her friend and I heard her laugh and everything got kind of fuzzy." He sighed sadly. "I panicked. I slipped again, going to a woman who wasn't mine."

"So you screwed it all up." Ben suggested, tone full of understanding.

* * *

_Beautiful goodbye _

_It's dripping from your eyes_

* * *

"I'd like to talk about the conversation before she left." Ben started.

Oliver's finger drew a lazy pattern on his jeans. He hadn't slept much since their last session. Understanding just why he'd done what he'd done didn't make him feel better. He knew the disease now, but couldn't seem to find the cure.

"She cried. Told me nothing that I didn't deserve." Oliver blinked rapidly at the moisture gathering in his eyes. "She kissed me. Then told me that I'd just given up the future that she'd wanted, that she'd been so sure I wanted."

Ben stared at him. "Was she right? Did she describe the future you wanted?"

Oliver shook his head. "No, because I'd never allowed myself to think about it. I never allowed myself to think that far ahead. But when she described it," He exhaled sharply. "Jesus, I've thought about it every day since."

* * *

_When did the rain become a storm?_

_When did the clouds begin to form?_

_Yeah, we got knocked off course by a natural force_

_And we'll, we'll be swimming when it's gone_

* * *

**So I hope you all enjoyed this one. I tried to add some levity in the form of Ben. I was a little surprised when I decided to write it this way, but I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!**


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